GONE GIRL

I've gotten to see my girl now, twice. It's called a NC visit (non contact) as it's behind glass, you use a telephone. I still am able to physically see her, though. She's aged. She's scared.

Last time I 'saw' her was this past March 2015. In court regarding her daughter (another story, another time) but I honestly can't remember much about it. We had asked if we could have a moment with Amber. I hadn't seen her in two years. The officers bringing her from WKCC said 'no-way' but for some reason, the Judge said 5 minutes in her courtroom. When I walked in, I hardly recognized her. Frail, pale & skinny as hell. At least 20 pounds lighter, (she's tall and skinny anyway) Swollen face from crying I could hardly see her eyes. I remember saying to myself..keep it together, for her..keep it together..I know I went into shock. I can't remember anything else about that day, even testifying, except for the fact it was in Bullitt County, it was the day they sentenced Stanley Dishon in the murder of his niece. BIG TIME case from 1999 I remember well. The niece was the age of my girl Ashlea when he took her life from her. The hallways were full of her family members of hers. Surreal.

So seeing Amber these past couple weeks, she's jumpy, constantly turning around to look behind ,as if someone's sneaking up behind. Can't stay on one subject. Eyes are glassy. She's alive. Lets start there.

After our last Saturday visit, she called on Sunday to let me know she's out of solitary. We had talked during our visits about her being prepared for an adjustment period and what to do when you don't know what to do! There's significant changes. Part of my girl is gone.

This will be Amber's 5th time up for Parole

We have until December 1st to submit anything we want the Parole Board to consider. Parole is not in person but by 'file review'. In the past I have had no good things to say about the 'process' used that effects someones life so profoundly. I've felt it to be too 'fleeting' & 'hurried'. I've heard comments they sometime only have a few minutes to review cases. A few minutes? There have been changes thru Legislation that are hopeful. I understand getting out is not the only purpose. Staying out without committing more offenses is extremely important. Looking at the numbers of late, the Parole Board is paroling around 60%. Usually this runs in the low 50's to 40's.

All I know, I want Amber in my home, under my influence, protection and care.

No one wants more for Amber than I do.

No one wants Amber to be successful more than I do.

No one is invested more than I am.

No one has her best interest at hand more than I do. I

just have to try to convince a couple of people that sit on a board. This time, next time?

Whatever it is, it is.

We will keep going forward with what pieces of her she has left.

Thanks for reading.